I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
