Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
