chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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