I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
