i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
