Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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