I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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