lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
