one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
