come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
