Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
