doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Tornado booty call.. dedication
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize