just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize