Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It's no shave November. This is our time.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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