best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
