i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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