oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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