Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
