you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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