After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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