so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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