so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
