So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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