tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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