where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
