At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
