I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
im holly from the hills drunk
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
