But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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