I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
