tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
