Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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