All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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