just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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