'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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