I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize