I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
