I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
