I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
