she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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