We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
