Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize