I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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