is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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