I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
