Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just took my morning after pill in the library
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
