But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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