you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
