champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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