I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
