how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You may now shotgun with the bride
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
