did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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