You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
