i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
