And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
