I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
