Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
