I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
