dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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