dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
