so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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