Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
handjob tips. give me some.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
