It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize