Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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