bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
