He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
