I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
