Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
