He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
We are all done wearing pants today
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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