i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I'm bleeding and have questions
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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