lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
high people should be assigned attendants
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
