Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize